Category Archives: Exploratory Articles

5 Delightfully Obscure Easter Eggs You Missed In Portal 2

Valve’s 2007 first person puzzle game Portal was a surprise hit for everyone. The game acted and felt like a first person shooter but you just didn’t go around killing anyone. Instead you solved puzzles based on some simple – and some not so simple – physics problems. Introducing us to GLaDOS – one of the most maniacal robots in Science Fiction since the IG 88 assassin droid – and Chell, a “silent partner” whom the player took control of and completed a series of puzzles without any real indication as to how or why, Portal was a revolution in gaming.

Portal 2 exposed Portal as the prototype it was always meant to be, however, introducing new characters and completely expanding, redesigning and reintroducing us to the story. Despite being set thousands of years after the first game it might as well have been the next day for character Chell, as she made her way through the very history of Aperture Science and you were given a history lesson nobody was likely to forget. But just what did we learn throughout the game’s mysterious second act?

As Chell advances deeper through the history of the company – from the profitable 50’s to the bankrupt 80’s – there’s hardly any time travel at all. Instead we’re given clues and hints to the past and forced – mostly due to the silence of our character – to figure a lot out for ourselves and consistently break down that fourth wall. This is just one of the most enjoyable reasons that you should play this game because Valve have created a way to keep you thinking about this game hours after you’ve completed playing it.

You’ll go back and attempt missions just to check hidden corners and cracks for that secret plaque – not because you have too – but because you’ll want too. Of course you’re also welcome to review this list and have a tiny bit of help getting you started in the right direction. Naturally, there will be spoilers!

5. One of the most entertaining parts of Portal 2 is undoubtedly the voice of ‘Cave Johnson’ (played by the legendary J.K. Simmons) as he directs you through the ruins of Aperture Science’s testing areas. Although you neither travel through space or time there’s an adventure through three decades of Aperture history as Johnson’s narration gives a lot of the insight into the particular companies history during these periods and pieces together a lot of cryptic answers to questions that allow the gamer to ‘break the fourth wall’ and better understand why certain things are in certain places.

When you first encounter GLaDOS (short for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System) she isn’t happy – probably because your character is responsible for her death in the first Portal game – or probably because you are then responsible for her disconnection and resurrection as a potato-battery. In chapter 7, hidden between the first and second orange gel test spheres, is an office with a portrait hanging on the wall. Its a portrait of Johnson, and we’ve seen lots of photos of the man but this is the only one in which he’s joined by his assistant Caroline.

Upon encountering this photo GLaDOS exclaims that these people look so familiar and if you’ve managed to put the pieces together by this point you notice you’re looking at something far more significant, GLaDOS as a human, before she was uploaded into a robot. There are a lot of theories pointing to Chell’s parents being Cave and Caroline and this portrait is a solid piece of photographic evidence showing a distinctive likeness between the trio.

4. Did anyone else think it was just slightly odd that there was a ‘Bring Your Daughter to Work Day’ included in Portal 2? The remnants of this rather bizarre event include what appears to be a Science fair featuring a number of alternative ways to harness power. As we progress through the room we’re shocked at the discovery of a potato which has seemingly been allowed to grow over the millions of years since it was first placed there and subsequently has large roots going into the ceiling. But if you take a look at the board next to this item you’ll see something quite shocking right in the corner. The project appears to have been designed by a girl named Chell.

Consider for a moment that this project is indeed the work of a young Chell. It meets with the requirements that her parents worked for Aperture (as hinted by GLaDOS) and is even more shocking when you think that their names apparently also began with the letter “C” – I’m not going to put this all together for you but if you’ve even been paying the slightest attention to what I’ve been writing then you should see the significance straight away. What’s even more unusual is that this suggests Chell is responsible for the design which essentially saves GLaDOS programme from deletion for a large portion of the game. It’s all a bit creepy isn’t it?

3. Valve created Half Life and later created Portal 2. In a statement early on the developers made clear that Portal 2 would definitely have some reference and insider knowledge for fans of Half Life. And they didn’t disappoint. Aperture Science proudly displays that on three occasions (in 1949, 1952 and 1954) they received the runner up award in a contractor of the year competition.

When we first encounter the earliest examples of Aperture they’re talking about the invitations extended to Scientist’s and Astronaut’s who have come to test with the program. In the next area Aperture has aged about 15 years, with Johnson mentioning they may be known to the homeless people who have volunteered to test because of the 1968 senate hearings into missing astronauts, hinting at the fact that this is part of the reason the company has run into difficulty. There’s also a photo of Johnson, looking significantly older than in his photo with Caroline, hanging in the lobby of the foyer in this area. Whats perhaps more significant is that while observing this Johnson makes a direct reference to ‘Black Mesa’ saying they can “kiss my bankrupt…” before being cut off by his assistant, Caroline. He alludes that his disgust is due to companies who have managed to steal ideas that he created. Black Mesa using Aperture technology? You never know…

2. Despite being an all powerful super computer GLaDOS obviously weakness appears to be Ornithophobia. There are many unanswered questions about the appearance of this solitary bird in Portal 2 such as how it got that deep into Aperture labs, how it survived, whether this proves the existence of intelligent life above ground and why the only living creature (asides from Chell) to be featured in Portal 2 is this solitary bird. At one point in the game it appears that the bird is looking over a nest although whether he – or she – is protecting eggs was left completely unexplained until the DLC at which point GLaDOS interacts with some baby birds in Art Therapy.

This in itself poses a more fundamentally important question as to where the birds’ mate is? The Caroline portrait and the possibilities of it’s meaning come back to us at this point. It also leads to a different theory which is perhaps even more fascinating: the many, many connections between Portal 2 and the Greek legend of Prometheus, who was “punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man…cast to the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.” Many cultures have different superstitions regarding birds in the house. In traditional Irish culture, for example, if a bird flew into the house, it was a portent of death. Interesting that GLaDOS is being pecked by birds as Chell awakes from her fall into the bowels of Aperture science. Maybe you’re both already dead by this point? In fact, perhaps the whole game is a mythology based around death, which just sees Chell on a journey to the afterlife.

1. This reference takes the top spot on this list because of it’s ability to cross the boundaries between games and reality. Anybody whose ever picked up a personal turret from the likes of Forbidden Planet (or any other good alternative retailer) can attest to that. In the game you see turret’s being assembled and packed for shipment which almost seems pointless given the collapse of civilization (or so you’d assume) in the years previous. You might even wonder where the finished turrets actually go and if there are nothing but warehouses and warehouses of finished and packed turret’s ready to be shipped?

You see the turret box at various points throughout the game, but the side of the packaging with the most surprising information is only visible in the room where Wheatley tries to kill you with a circle of faulty turrets. According to this illustration sentry turrets were designed – or at least marketed – with the intention of nursery protectors. That might explain their soft voices and gentle tones. I also want to give full credit to the makers of the official ‘Turret Sentry’ action figure which features the same – identical – artwork upon it’s side. Full credit for detail. Personally I’m only disappointed you can’t get a real life sized turret to guard your nursery.

Life sized turrets have been made by fans and are available through certain custom outlets, but without those soft tones and the ability to attack intruders its just not the same.

Sunderland Remembers Ruby Presidential Visit on Wearside

A Sunderland resident has been fondly remembering an historic visit from US President Jimmy Carter to Wearside. Michael Gough, an amateur documentarian and filmmaker, captured the event using his Super 8 millimeter film camera on May 6th 1977. “I remember the moment of deciding to buy a cine camera in 1967 very well” Michael says, who also used the device to capture footage of the Queen’s Silver Jubilee.

Mr. Carter, who served as US President between 1977 and 1981, was America’s 39th President and visited Sunderland on this month forty years ago in an official capacity. Having just three weeks notice to prepare, the visit was very informal by Presidential standards, Tyne Tees Television capturing the event for American networks and the footage of which is now preserved, alongside Michael’s work, by both Yorkshire Film Archive and the North East Film Archive.

Mr. Gough, a now retired educator who moved to the area in the early 1970s with his wife Linda, captured the President’s visit much like any other event he felt might have been of greater significance. “I realized that if I only made family style home movies there would be a very restricted audience so I explored subjects that would appeal to wider audiences” he said recently, speaking to reporter Wayne Madden.

“When I decided to film Jimmy Carter my expectation was that it would be a newsreel filler which might remain of interest for a couple of years. Who was to know that ‘Welcome to Washington’ would do so well and still be shown 40 years later?” Michael remembers the day itself very well, but says that there wasn’t much time to stand on ceremony off camera.

“I was working only a few minutes’ walk from Washington Old Hall. I filmed it during my 1 hour lunch break so I only had about 45 minutes free on location. The filming was a rush to get crowds before Jimmy Carter came, see him at the Hall, then rush away before he planted a tree on the green. There was no planning at all. I simple [sic] responded to what was happening and tried to get enough pictures to tell the story. It was all a bit too rushed to feel any particular emotion or recognize the historical significance.”

President Carter visited the city as part of his tour of the North East, taking a tour of Corning Ltd glass works accompanied by then British Prime Minister James Callaghan. The centre, which was originally part of Sunderland Glass Works, was bought out by the American Corning in 1973 and closed its doors in 2007. Corning in America has worked exclusively with Steve Jobs since 2006 and are perhaps most famous for providing the hardware glass which encases the iPhone.

President Carter arrived in the region when Air Force One officially landed in Newcastle Airport at just after 9:30am on 6th May. As part of his visit to Sunderland, his Presidential motorcade traveled over the Wearmouth Bridge, cheered by people lining the route. Seated in a Daimler car he was formally greeted upon his arrival in the city by the then Mayor of Sunderland, Charles Slater as well as Fred Willey, then MP for Sunderland North, Gordon Eagier, then MP for Sunderland South and other distinguished guests.

President Carter also took time to visit Washington, particularly Washington Old Hall, where he laid a tree sapling alongside Prime Minister Callaghan. The Old Hall is the ancestral home of George Washington, first known as the “de Wessyngtons”, who settled there from 1180AD. One of the smallest buildings in the possession of the National Trust, it is from a member of the family in the thirteenth century that departed Durham, from whom President Washington could trace his lineage. It is also one of the reasons why Sunderland City and Washington USA signed a unique ‘Friendship Agreement’ in 2006 leading to the establishment of Sunderland Shorts Film Festival.

The Washington coat of arms has been said to have inspired the flag of the United States. An example of the Washington coat of arms or shield can be seen in the cloisters of Durham Cathedral. Holding a special ceremony of American Independence every year, the building is often overlooked by tourists in the region, an H-shaped manor house in the heart of Washington village.

Indeed, it is this friendship and jovial attitude which filmmaker Michael Gough remembers most clearly from the day itself, a parallel on how things have changed in the intervening years regarding visits from such a high profile head of state. “I remember being amused by the intended anonymity of the American security guards who stood out like sore thumbs as they wore hearing aids and secretly talked up their sleeves.”

Mr. Carter made a second, far less public, visit to the region in 1987 by which time he had left Presidential office. In 2013 he sent a letter of thanks to Newcastle City Council leader Nick Forbes after Mr. Forbes had returned to him a framed photo taken on his original visit. Speaking directly to our reporter Cllr Forbes said: “Newcastle has great memories of President Carter’s visit”. “As a result of it our city was twinned with Atlanta – a great transatlantic friendship which has remained strong for the last 40 years. I took a photograph of the event with me on a recent visit to Atlanta, which the mayor’s office arranged to be presented to President Carter.”

The former President, who turned 93 in October, is still very much active in public life and was seen attending President Donald J Trump’s inauguration ceremony earlier this year. This is despite the nonagenarian recently informing an audience he had voted for Bernie Sanders.

At a talk on human rights issues, Mr. Carter went on to say “dissatisfaction with the existing system of politics” resulted in President Trump’s election. “People were willing just to take a chance and to abandon democracy and what we knew about its basic principles and try something new, no matter what it was,” he added.

In Feb 2017 Sunderland AFC Manager David Moyes issued Donald Trump an invitation to come and meet the team ahead of their mid season trip to New York. “If Donald Trump wants to come and see the boys, he’s very welcome,” Moyes is quoted as telling The Express. In a four day bonding session the team were photographed jogging around Central Park and being put through their paces on several exercise routines.

It is not believed that Mr. Trump was aware of or was able to respond formally to Mr. Moyes invitation. When our office contacted the Office for Presidential Correspondence on the matter we were unsuccessful in receiving a response.

Semi Comatose Clock Watching

After the last couple of months and suffering a recent crisis in employment, I found myself both needing a job and also a boost of confidence, suffering a betrayal at the hands of someone I once considered a friend.

There’s been a lot written in the UK media about the lack of employment opportunities in the United Kingdom, certainly there is perhaps written more about Universal Credit and other forms of income benefit. At the time of writing this piece there is a debate in Parliament and among the people about whether a scheme like Universal Credit can work for those most in need, or whether it actually causes more problems than it answers. Examples in mainstream media include a woman named Keeley Sheppard who found herself both pregnant and sanctioned by the Job Center for attempting to move into a new home and start a family.  

Unfortunately for some, I’m not here to talk about that debate or answer those questions in this article.

What I can tell you is that I spent about a month on income benefits this year before finding a job in a call center. I signed on because I had no other form of income, no savings and more outgoings than incoming. There was no question that I depend upon a regular income in order to be able to function on a basic level. Many debt collectors will call this priority billing, things like rent, water, gas and electric. These are the fundamental building blocks which society will see as you needing to have covered before you can afford to have a pint, watch a film at the cinema and buy a copy of South Park Fractured But Whole on XBox One

The so dubbed Brexit hasn’t helped either, and asides from British PM Teresa May saying everything and yet nothing about Britain’s ongoing negotiations to leave the European Union, the reality is that those on the front line of poverty – those who need help the very most – are nervously waiting to see whether their indefinite leave to remain is upheld, whether their average cost per month rises or whether that job is still able to operate lucratively in the UK.

What I’ve been hired to do in the call center and who I’ve been hired to work for is irrelevant. In any case, I’m almost sure I’ve signed a document which prevents me from disclosing that publicly, least of all my background in Journalism means that it would be hugely inappropriate (and most definitely litigious) to give any indication about the nature and cause of my work. On the contrary, I’m actually very grateful for the opportunities that have been afforded me by my new employer. It is a job, and a wage, which has allowed me to attempt to rebuild employment and confidence and it is certainly better than remaining unemployed. It also helped prove to me that for those willing to work there are jobs to be found, jobs which are open to members of the public from all backgrounds and jobs which will given consideration as long as you are willing to work hard and be honest.

But instead of focusing on that, this article represents a look at some of the individuals I work with, those who remain unnamed and certainly unidentified in anything but trait and demeanor. I list some of these characters here because they have presented me with a rather whirlwind tour of the world in the past few weeks and I’ve encountered probably the most diverse and complex group of people I’ve met in my entire life. From ex military and ex convicts to those who are returning to work after a long absence, the diversity and difference in each and every individual has left me honestly mind blown.  And I’d like to share some of my favorites with you now.

Ex Military
Recently out of the armed forces, and possibly returned from a tour of duty overseas, the military man is both dutiful and curious. Punctual to a tee he is almost always too early, and will blame excuses like his drill sergeant for teaching him good habits. He will rarely speak about his service, especially any active combat duty, but will reminisce with stories of unusual situations or awkward encounters (such as communal showers). He is also a wealth of knowledge for both his chosen discipline (Air Force, Royal Navy, Armed Forces etc) and knows a lot more about the other disciplines than any “civi” you’re likely to meet. Follows orders and is especially grateful you’re not all getting frog marched through a field or turning over your bunk.

The Ex-Convict, or Penitent Thief
Much like a scene lifted from the Bible (Luke 23:40) the ex convict sits to your right and tells you why a life of crime doesn’t suit him anymore. It reminds me of an interesting ‘Breakfast with Frost’ episode I once saw when I was far too young to realize it’s importance. David Frost was actually broadcasting from live within HMP and his co-hosts were serving prisoners.

The thief always has a number of stories about times when he just managed to evade the capture of the law. He has convinced himself this job is beneath him from the moment he turns up, and he might even be right, but does the job to a tee from the second the clock strikes. His language on the phone is polite as a vicar addressing a Sunday sermon and afterwards he smiles and boasts that the people he’s talking too don’t realize what a danger he was once declared upon society, sitting in the dock while he brandished a knife towards the judge.  Of course, whether you believe his stories or not, you’re likely to engage as the fiction is more entertaining than the work you should both be doing.

The Addict
It’s unlikely you’ll ever speak directly to the addict. The two weeks training before the job are probably about as much time as you’ll collectively spend with him. When it comes to actually doing real work the addict is useless. He (almost always he) finds the job overwhelming, beneath him, disgusting or whatever adjective lets him leave – possibly by assaulting a supervisor or stealing equipment – claiming to his adviser that the two weeks he spent there were actually a month and that creative differences prevented him from continuing. Creative differences being that the company operated during the hours of daylight and asked you to wear both trainers to work every morning. Will also attempt to add you on XBox Live randomly at somestage.

The Return to Work
Confidence is key. The middle aged, possibly divorced, mother of three returning to work has a lot of confidence. It’s also potentially misfiled under helpfulness. You’ll see photographs of her children and hear stories about her last holiday abroad while being amazed she can bring such a well prepared lunch to work every day. It’s healthy and nutritious and a lot better than those “Starbar’s” you keep purchasing from the vending machine. The return to work mom is normally with an agency, who have gotten her this job so that she can have weekly wages while you agreed to monthly. It makes you wish you’d joined through an agency and also that you miss your mom. 

The Hipster Teen
Having accumulated a massive amount of savings in unexplained wealth, the hipster teen is not the subject of a CAB inquiry, but rather the one person who simply doesn’t need to be there. It normally takes the teenager three weeks to realize that nobody else is working in this job out of choice, and that given they themselves have a choice, decide to depart for another job at the earliest opportunity.  Besides, they’re young, don’t need to pay bills and live with their parents. The idea of a job is good on a CV for UCAS applications (which they’re making late after deciding to take some time out, really find themselves) but a number of jobs embellished to make it look like they’ve held three in the space of 18 months (at an age where that would be advantageous) means you hate them about as much as their denim dungarees, Taylor Swift haircut and their ‘appreciation’ for Breaking Bad. Breaking Bad, to be serious for a moment, is a critical masterpiece and has changed how we think about television. It is not – not – simply an art project.

Breakdown
Breakdown can take many forms. They can be someone who starts crying at the person on the other side of the phone randomly during a call. For no reason. They can be someone who stands up, smiles politely and then puts their fist through the computer monitor screen causing serious damage and a nasty cut on their hand. Or it can just be that person who casually mentions on a tea break that you’re the first person they’ve spoken too as a friend since the doctor declared them sane and released them from the hospital. I want to be clear, I’m not taking pot shots here at anyone with mental health difficulties, as I know returning to work can be a distressing and awkward time. Actually, those who are so honest as to make these admissions are among my favorite colleagues to work with, people who are the most human of everyone and don’t let work and regulation rob them of their basic honesty.

Ultimately, it all these people and more who have made me thankful to still be with my current employer. When I originally wrote this article I was attempting to define myself into a label through which I fit, but at time of writing realize that in reality the ability for me to succeed – and even grow – in my current employment is because I represent a portion of all these labels (yes, even the convict). A BBC article in October 2017 quoted Paul Farmer, co-author of the Thriving At Work report, as saying that “In many instances, employers simply don’t understand the crucial role they can play, or know where to go for advice and support.”

So it is with the warmest sincerity that I thank my employer for the normality and sense of normalization I have found working with them. Not just removing me from the financial uncertainty of most self employment and unemployment but also providing me a real way to continue to improve and build upon my most recent achievements.

Waiting for the Postman; 5 Things from EBay

For a bit of fun I decided to include a list of random items recently purchased from eBay by myself. Other online auction sites are available. John, my postman, should be delivering these over the next few days. Or he has already delivered them.

Alice In Chains SAP EP

Alice In Chains SAP EP was released in February 1992. Although traditionally packaged with the bands second studio EP, Jar of Flies, it was in fact a separate release to begin with. It was recorded just after the Facelift tour, when the band were meant to produce their second album, but decided instead to release five acoustic tracks. It showed a development and versatility in Alice In Chain’s music that would go on to make them famous worldwide. The EP was released when Nirvana’s Nevermind was top of the Billboard 200 so naturally (as a Seattle band) they got targeted with the same brush and labelled Grunge. It also features guest vocals from the late Chris Cornell.

Casio Retro Digital Watch

I’ve always wanted a digital watch from Casio. Even though this was a second hand item and more than likely (given it’s low price) a cheap reproduction it does the job. It reminds me of both the original Casio watches from my childhood but also, more specifically, attending Funderland in Dublin every year after Christmas. This was a theme park event that ran in the RDS Arena in January and quite often the Casio Digital watches – like these – were prizes in the machines.

Kenner Toys ‘Cliff Dagger’ VENOM Operative from MASK TV Series

Another childhood memory, this time from television, as VENOM operative Cliff Dagger from the show MASK. This smaller figure was used to sit in the MASK machines and I own about 6 of these little figures, but this particular one was my favorite because the mask reminds of me Craig Jones (or 133) from Slipknot. I might be the first, last and only person to think that but there we go.

Alice In Chains ‘Dirt’ Mini Disc

Alice In Chains MiniDisc of the album ‘Dirt’, the bands second album – and in my opinion – their best. It’s an absolutely fantastic Metal album released in 1992 and is just some of the best music ever committed to tape by a mainstream metal band. ‘Rooster’ and ‘Down In A Hole’ (both of which feature on this album) are among my favorite songs of all time. I ordered the MiniDisc unboxed because it was A LOT cheaper than a boxed version, although when it arrived I was fined 9 pound by Royal Mail and a further 14 pound extra shipping. I wasn’t happy about that but was happy to get the album.

Queen ‘The Show Must Go On’ Single (1991)

I love the Innuendo album by Queen, perhaps my favorite album by the band, next to ‘A Kind Of Magic’.  The band released several singles for the album – most likely as they couldn’t tour at the time due to Freddie Mercury’s terminal illness. The singles released all included exclusive traditional artwork on each cover – and are an art form all of their own with little B Sides and rarities and exclusive singles. I bought this one because I already have ‘Innuendo’ and ‘I’m Going Slightly Mad’ so wanted to finish my single trilogy collection. I was also really impressed that the seller kept the Woolworths sticker on it. I paid a little less than 3.99 to be fair.

Recollections, Labels and Justifications


The other day a work colleague referred to one of my recollections as one of ‘Wayne’s stories’ and I wondered whether I’d spent too much time reminiscing and not enough time moving forward. Perhaps it was his sutble way of telling me that I should be working and not sitting down telling everyone about the further adventures of Wayne.

But I actually take his comments as a compliment, not least of all because it plays on my own natural abilities, one of those being the ability to engage and capture an audiences attention through storytelling. Authors, filmmakers, script writers, journalists and musicians are just some of the people who have this ability. That’s not to say every journalist or scriptwriter has the ability to paint you a mental picture and captivate, but I believe if they’re any good, then they should possess these skills.


Labeling people is nothing new, funneling people into the most convenient definitions, I spent most of my education judged by educators and classmates on my social skills, my achievements with the opposite sex, my achievements with the same sex, my music taste,  my grades and my aspirations. Bowling 4 Soup probably hit the nail on the head when they said “high school never ends” and it’s as true as the sun will rise tomorrow that people will label. For many, it’s an opportunity to break common ground in the most efficient time possible. Telling you everything in a sentence but saying nothing in a lifetime.

Labelled and processed, you may feel the need to almost justify yourself, your own existence, your interests, hobbies and passions.  This is certainly something that happened to me. In school, for example, it was common to make such a huge statement of music taste, commenting on the bands that were allegedly fighting or the next album coming out. It wasn’t so much about what you actually liked as the way you liked it – the opinions you had were meaningless, nobody was going to debate the finer points, instead they just expected teenage hormones and wild flowing statements. You defended your beliefs, partly because you believed them, but mostly because it was part of the group you’d been labelled with.  And the worst thing you could imagine was being outside the box.

Social media has, in my humble opinion, made this even worse. It’s almost as if Facebook is the Inquisitor, asking you to justify constantly your abilities and strengths, exposing your shortcomings and reminding you to keep in line with social status. Add to this the platform it gives us, that we each have a choice to use or not, to shout about our day in the most constructively positive or negative manner we can think of. Thoughts that were once retained, only for a moment, now immortalized in a status update. My journalism lecturer used to tell me straight – libel was worse than slander because it was printed for all to see – a single voice can only reach so far. But Facebook is the voice of many.

You can, of course, choose to remove these libelous or self deprecating posts when you’ve “calmed down” or “thought it through”, and a few do. But most do not. Of course, that opens another – more curious – box, that of censorship. If you say something out loud to 400 friends in a packed hall with a microphone, the information cannot be retracted. You can apologize and make amends if needs be but you cannot simply erase that information from their minds or hope half of them won’t hear it. You can’t selectively choose to alter the words spoken or give the impression you were misunderstood.  Should you have the right to censor and modify those Facebook posts, does it make us subconsciously feel that people should treat us with a different approach in “real life” when we do the same thing? Is our online persona different to that of our real life, primarily because we don’t expect to be judged in the same way for both personalities?

There are people I know on Facebook who I’ve never met in reality. That’s because they’re contacts for stories, I’ve sold things with them online, met them through trading forums…that kind of thing. And there’s also a lot of people I’ve met in real life but haven’t seen in years. I lived in Edinburgh from May 2008 until December 2009 and loved the city, the experience of meeting so many different people. I left my home city of Dublin shortly after finishing University. In both of these examples there are ‘friends’ on my own Facebook with whom I’ve exchanged virtually no contact – asides from perhaps a nostalgic reminiscent post if someone tags you in a photograph.

Now just as I’d like people to think I’ve changed, grown and learned as I’ve become older, so too would I think these ‘friends’ of mine would like me to believe they’ve changed as well. So the only contact I get with them, real or otherwise, is through the medium of Facebook. There’s no reunion, no alumni…people lead their own lives…they disappear into the fullness of time and that used to be the way it happened, naturally. But now we find ourselves reunited with old friends, old lovers, old rivals…and even if we’re not reunited and we’ve just moved on…to what value is a random persons comments on my news feed going to make? How many people will click this link on my Facebook feed and even bother reading this article? If they offer no value to my own life then why should I spend time listening to their daily negativity? Their daily struggles and problems? Why should they care when I’ve my own problems?

Baz Lurman once said that “the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young” and I think, much like the fact that Lurman ‘borrowed’ these lyrics, that statement has only an element of truth to it and should not be followed literally as instructions for life. Remaining friends with someone with whom you worked nine years ago just so you can see their holiday snaps or watch them announce their pregnancy, a level of intimacy you never would have shared with them when you saw them every day, seems like such a bizarre and confusing ritual. Trapped in a cycle of perpetual nostalgia. Holding on to those fading memories of the good times. We label because it allows us to more easily find and sort those memories, categorize our relationships and make us not feel so bad when we don’t speak to a school friend whom we later find out committed suicide due to depression.

Labeling is our way of living in the present. We have access to more information than our parents or our grandparents. We have more choice of how to spend our money and less restriction on where we have to live or the rules society says we have to follow. Class structure and family hierarchy still exists but only insofar as providing a safe place for people to retreat when life is overwhelming. In many respects I believe there is too much choice in the world today and that can lead to a lot of people becoming very lost and insecure.  And very early on. Labeling is a way for people to restore order, find a way not to get overwhelmed with their feelings and to essentially treat life like a work fridge where every person has a lunchbox, a label on the box and a specific contents inside – dietary requirement, personal taste, financial means and practicalities are all inside that lunchbox. But from the outside it looks the same as everyone else. Just like Facebook.

Nowadays I take my labeling with a sort of pride. I see them as character strengths rather than weakness. Someone tells me that I’m always telling stories I’ll tend to assume that I therefore have the ability to tell such stories. Stories people take away and remember, stories they know come from me personally and ones which (in some small way) entertain them. Having recently started working for a newspaper for the first time in my life, first studying journalism some thirteen years ago with those hopes and dreams, I’m glad that I still retain the basic instincts and abilities needed to bring a story to life.